Cake Party!

Or: How to get your boss to celebrate your milestones when your boss is you.

When I worked at a dental insurance company in Bethesda, MD in my early 20’s, I had my first and only experience with corporate 9-to-5 culture. One thing I remember was the celebration of milestones. There was usually a gathering of some sort, and cake. It’s our boss’s birthday! The marketing department got us a big new client! Beth from Claims got promoted! We all assembled in the break room, celebrated and had cake. It’s the work equivalent of your teacher showing a film in class. A little break from the routine.

15 years ago when I started freelancing, I realized something. I loved being my own boss, but there was no cake. Where was the party to celebrate that I’d published my first book on Audible (Everyday Psychokillers: A History for Girls by Lucy Corin) or that I had enough work on the schedule to quit my day job as an acting & voice instructor?

Sure, I could go to a cafe and get myself a cupcake and say yay, but where’s the fun in that? And I could get a family-size cake and bring it home, but it felt weird. Hey, we’re all going to celebrate ME! Sing it with me: awkwaaaaaard…

So instead, I reframed it as Family Cake Party. For my first 100 books narrated, it happened every 10 books. The Friday after I wrapped production on books 10, 20, etc., I’d go get champagne for me and my husband, sparkling apple cider for the girls, a little cake to share, and say THANK YOU in addition to hooray.

They deserved all the gratitude. Before I had an isolation booth, let’s just say there was a lot of shushing to put up with. As my schedule filled, there was increasingly “I can’t right now, I have a deadline, ask Dad.” And then more travel, as I invested time and funds in conferences and book events. I was and am deeply grateful that they supported me, believed in me, and turned down the tv when I asked.

Family Cake Party was a hit. We’d celebrate, I’d write the number of books on the champagne cork and throw it in a bowl in my office. When I hit 100 books, I invited the neighbors over too, and just mentioned the milestone as part of the evening. It was nice to get congratulated.

Over the years we celebrated Audie nominations (“but mom, you said that would NEVER happen!”) and I whisked my husband away for dinner and an overnight at the Jefferson Hotel in Richmond for an Annual Shareholders’ Meeting. And during lockdown, I did have a party for one during an online Audie Awards. I was in a hotel in Ann Arbor, Michigan for the 2021 Audies and put together a platter of decadent treats and a half-bottle of good champagne for our Zoom watch party. Thanks, boss!

During business coaching sessions, sometimes colleagues would confide that their work was causing some stress and tension at home. Partners and children were grouchy, tired of being shushed, wondering whenareyougonnabeDONNNNNNNE? These narrators very often also felt isolated, lonely, bummed out, like their dream was becoming drudgery.

The solution?

You guessed it.

CAKE PARTY!

I love hearing the creative ways freelancers employ the Cake Party Method. People who live by themselves use it as an excuse to schedule a fun night out with friends. Those with partners take the time to thank them for all the support and patience. And my favorite anecdote concerns a mom of five children whose kids were vocal about their frustration with mom’s need for quiet alone time. She told me that after their first Family Cake Party, when she told everyone the reason for the celebration, the kids were like “GET BACK IN THERE AND DO MORE BOOKS! WE WANT CAKE!”

And if you don’t like cake? Figure out what does feel like a celebration of your next work milestone and put it on the calendar. Be the best boss you’ve ever worked for. Cheers!